Categories
Brain Injury Magee

No gloves but lots of guilt…

One thing I didn’t share about yesterday was that at Magee, the gloves and gown are no longer needed to visit with Bob. It was really nice to be able to actually touch his arms, hands, and face with my hands yesterday.

But I didn’t make the trip today to visit with him. It’s the first day since the accident that I haven’t seen him. And I feel sick about it. I did get a full report (and I mean full) from his case manager earlier today with detailed statistics about what he was and was not able to do in OT, PT, and Speech. It was extremely overwhelming and a bit humbling to realize just how far he needs to go before he’s back at baseline.

A few times in ICU, I actually thought that if I gave him a big ole smooch, he would wake up (thanks fairy tales). Or that I would walk in and he would be sitting up and eating jello. Now, I guess I just hoped the report would be that he was up and walking. But the reality is that he doesn’t know what day it is, can’t thread his arms through a shirt, and can’t stay upright on his own without help. So I’m sad. And I feel awful that I didn’t see him tonight. Mikey and I did call his room and he said, “Hi. What’s up?” after being handed the phone by his 1:1 aide like nothing had ever changed.

But it has. And it’s just sad. I’m sad. And Mikey knows it. He hugs me more. Kisses me more. And will often rush to my side when he sees me get teary. I try not to cry any more in front of him but it still happens. And I just miss Bob. My Bob.

The accident happened the day before my birthday. I was wondering if he had bought me anything or planned an experience. Ferg said she remembered taking to him about it earlier at work on the day of the accident and that she thought it was an experience. I was going through mail tonight and looking at bills. On his credit card was a charge for spa finder that was enough for us both to get massages. He probably would have scheduled Brittany to take the kids for the day or overnight and we would have been pampered, had a wonderful dinner, and spent the night in AC. That’s my guess. I’m not sure I’ll ever know. I’m not sure he’ll ever remember what he was planning because that was a short term memory.

Please keep praying for him and our family.

Much love, Karen

One of last year’s birthday gifts. Delivered to work.

And our birthday date last year. He actually said he enjoyed it and would do it again. The art is hanging in our room now.

Categories
Acuity Brain Injury Magee

The only way to go is up…

What an amazing day! What started out with uncertainty is ending up fantastically! (be prepared for a boat load of exclamation points) I got word in the late morning that he was being discharged from Acuity and admitted to Magee. I have only been here for a few hours but have been moved to tears on more than a few occasions.

The building and staff have so much to offer us as a family with our healing. Everyone here is just as concerned about me as they are about Bob. He had dinner and really enjoyed his pudding tonight. He asked for ice cream and wouldn’t you know, they brought him ice cream! The doctors cognitive assessment was sooo much more intense. Count backwards by three’s from 20. Remember these three words (ball, piano, cardinal) and I’ll ask you to tell me them in a few minutes. Name as many animals as you can in a minute. What day of the week is it? What month is it? What were those three words I told you before? (he said giraffe) I also learned that I need to not always correct him when he gives wrong information, but redirect him instead. Whoops. I’ve messed up a bit in the last week and a half. But I didn’t know any better. It just frustrates him and his brain to feel like he has bad information.

The staff are intensely caring for his wounds and any scrapes and cuts he has. He has a wheelchair and has all of his clothes moved in. PANTS TOMORROW! I have met his case manager, his physician and resident, and his OT. Every one seems to be on the top of their game. And I also met the horticulture therapist, Jeanette.

It was open greenhouse tonight and she asked me to come up. I thought I was going to be moving bags of soil and planting flowers to just help out in the room. But no! I got to repot a few houseplants and I can take this to keep in Bob’s room!

Our tour guide, Ruth, came into Bob’s room to check on him and me. One of my student’s uncles works here (Keith) and I caught up to him in the parking lot. He was making sure I was ok and that Bob was being taken care of. It’s been an overwhelming day but with so many amazing things that happened and people to guide us along.

Being here is an unbelievable blessing. For Bob. For me. And for our family. Oh! I almost forgot. When I first got here today, I asked Bob if he remembered the foster baby we (and our village) are caring for and he called him by name!

Thank you for your continued prayers. I’m not thrilled to be on this journey, but I’m glad that the ride has brought us here and that you all are in the car with me.

Karen and Bob xoxo

Today’s theme:

Selfie on the sixth floor

The view from the sixth floor

Me trying to cultivate a green thumb

I was having so much fun

My finished repotting project for Bob’s room

Categories
Acuity Brain Injury

The peg that broke the camel’s back…

I wasn’t sure how to title this today. First it was going to be something about the peg. Then it was going to be something about my oh so incredibly sweet neighbors. Then it was going to change to my experience with Enterprise. THEN it was going to change to my meltdowns with my car. And finally, I was going to change it to how aggravated I was with my husband and how it melted away with a smirk and a smile. I went with the peg since that was how my day with Bob started…

Here are the events of today in a not so quick summary.  I called the hospital around 11 am to check in on how he was doing and to see how he was progressing with the move to Magee for tomorrow. I was informed by the case manager that Bob had removed his peg all by himself in the middle of the night. This involves him ripping his feeding tube (which was held in place by a balloon) out through the tiny incision in his stomach. That small hole is now a much larger hole then it was to begin with because the balloon was still inflated when it came out. He did inform me tonight that it was painful.  REALLY?  Ya think???

Now, since he no longer has a feeding tube in place, he must be placed on a diet of “real” food because he’s not getting the liquid nourishment that he was before.

“That’s great for him!” you think to yourself.  “This means progress!” But instead, it means that Magee really wants him to be off of the peg for two days before they admit him.  Its a precautionary thing to ensure that he’s not aspirating any food and isn’t running a fever.  So right now (as of 5 pm Monday), his move to Magee is temporarily on a small hold.

They would like to see how he does with dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow morning as well as how he maintains his body temperature overnight.  After breakfast, his case manager at Acuity will contact the nurse liaison at Magee to report to her on his progress and hopefully at that point, the nurse liaison will give him the OK to be admitted to Magee.  So the peg issue doesn’t mean that tomorrow is a no, it just means that we have to wait and see.

I also had to return my sweet rental today.  I have some amazing neighbors. Elisabeth swooped in and was able help me move everything out of the rental car and into the Rav before following me to Enterprise in Hammonton. My new friend Jimmy at Enterprise really took care of me.  THIS was one high point of today.  The car was originally $1.95 a day out of pocket expense.  Jimmy got it down to $.14 the day I picked it up and since the tax rate changed, it was down to four cents per day.  So for 24 days of a rental, I would’ve paid $.96.

Jimmy decided that I had over filled the gas tank from when I picked it up and gave me a $.96 fuel credit. So my super nice Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited was at no cost to me for the 24 blissful days that we drove around in it.

Then I returned to the house and started the Rav.  As I began to pull away, I realized that I had a flat tire.  I called my other neighbors, Ann and Billy to help me out.  Billy filled tires while Ann and I went into the house to gather a few more things that I needed.  I talked and laughed with them for a while sharing Bob stories from the hospital that are just too inappropriate to post. Then, as they were about to pull away, my car wouldn’t start because the battery was dead since I left the lights on four 6 minutes. I frantically waved Ann and Billy down and Billy jumped the Rav and I was on my way to the hospital.

I was glad that when I got to the hospital tonight that Terry, Mike, and Bob’s Aunt Sue were all there. I was freaking out at my husband. Screaming and crying at him because I was just so frustrated with the way today had gone.  I am so concerned about what will happen tomorrow because of the choices he made to pull the peg out. Even though I was steaming, steaming, steaming mad at Bob, all it took was for him to ask his Aunt Sue and Terry “What did I do? Why is she so mad?” Followed by “She’s in rare form” and “Marriage is really hard” to make me laugh at least a little bit. I don’t want to take out my frustration on him but sometimes that’s the only person that ever gets it. He’s not yet all together there to be mad as hell along with me at whomever or whatever has irked me.

So I’m not sure if it was the peg. Or the car tire. Or the car battery. Or Magee. Or Acuity. Or the hour long phone call with my car insurance. Or the uncertainty about tomorrow. Or just this whole situation that broke this camel’s back today.

We both usually take out our anger and irritation on each other because we both get it and we’ll always love each other. And even if we snap at those we’re closest to, they’ll always be there for us. And for me that’s Bob and for Bob, that’s me.  He’s getting there, to that point when he will “get it” but after all of this, I want us to be a little kinder and gentler to each other.

I want to thank all of you who have been so kind and gentle to me, Bob, Michael and our foster son, Baby J over the past four weeks.  I have a plan to write thank you cards to everyone who has sent us a meal, watched kids, driven kids all over, driven me all over, sent gift cards or money to help us, talked me off a ledge, texted or called to check on me, taken me out to take my mind off of this mess, jumped a car, or filled a flat tire.  My community of friends, coworkers and family have been amazing.  Thank you for hanging in there through this extra long post.  It’s been an extra long day.  Please hug those you love a little extra tonight.

Categories
Acuity Brain Injury

ALEXA!!!!

Bobs vitals are stable. He used his right hand to pull on the side rail to help the staff turn him today. When I got here tonight, he had his right leg flipped out of the bed and on the floor OVER the side rail. He has had the restraints removed. He has lost almost 30 pounds. He seems more and more lucid every day. Even though he does yell for Alexa. A lot.

Conversation about the “it’s not a bill” statement from the ICU:

K: guess how much 8 days in the ICU costs?

B: $10,000

K: add a zero

B: $100,000

K: and multiply by 2

B: $200,000

K: $211,000 and change

B: that’s ridiculous. It’s robbery. I’m glad I work and we have insurance.

I was very happy that he was doing the math correctly. Then he asked me for mayonnaise and said we need to bring the staff here a fruit basket except Kathleen (one of the nurses) and he wanted me to scroll down his pants and give him some underwear.

I told him that he’s leaving on Tuesday for a rehabilitation hospital.

B: they’ll find some excuse to keep me here.

K: nope. We’re going to Philly.

B: I don’t need rehab. I’m good.

Well babe, you DO need rehab and I NEED you to be good. When I was at our house yesterday grabbing suitcases and all of his gym clothes and sneakers it occurred to me that we weren’t coming back here as a whole family for awhile. And when we do, Bob will be a different person walking in the door than the last time he walked out.

We took Michael and the baby for pictures today. Since we’ve had kiddos in the house and had pictures taken (except for the surprise Father’s Day ones I had done) Bob and I have always been in pics with the kids. It was a little sad to not have him there today.

Funny stuff during the nightly shift change quiz…

K: where do I work?

B: Northfield

K: what do I do for work?

B: you babysit children (he smirked and smiled – I haven’t seen his smile in almost a month).

He kept smiling when he said “you’re a teacher”.

This Tuesday will be four weeks since the accident. I am looking forward to this next step and I can’t wait to have my hubs back.

Like father, like son with their “cheese” faces.

Categories
Acuity Brain Injury

Signing Bob’s letter of Intent…

We’ve signed with MAGEE!!! We are very excited that they will help him heal and reach his best self as well as take excellent care of our family. I feel that the environment is rejuvenating and that Bob will thrive there.

Magee Rehabilitation

Bob is much calmer and is now allowed to have water and ice chips as long as he is sitting up and supervised. His temps have been under control. His oxygen levels are doing well as is his heart rate. He yells a lot. “Hello! Karen! Kevin! Alexa!” But with the Xanax that he can have up to three times a day he seems slightly more calm. He is not allowed to share the Xanax. I have already asked.

Bob’s discharge and admission date is currently slated for Tuesday. The stars need to align and all the cogs in the wheels need to match up and the pegs all need to go in the right holes. Someone at Magee scheduled for discharge needs to actually BE discharged on Monday and Acuity needs to approve Bob medically for discharge Tuesday. Please pray that the entire process goes smoothly for him and for me not to forget anything that he will need at Magee.

The process for visitation is a little bit different at Magee. Check the link for visiting hours. If you would like to see him, reach out to me to let me know. If you came to see him at the hospital and are in his “visit” book, then I will make sure you are on the approved list. But there will be a list and to see him, you must be on it.

Visiting Hours

Keep praying for us as we start this next chapter. He’s going to be working so hard to get better!

Love, Karen and Bob

“Signing his letter”

Visiting with dada. Mikey always needs all of the stickers.