Category: Brain Injury

After the high of seeing Bob walk on Friday and celebrating Michael’s adoption anniversary, the boy and I spent Saturday and Sunday in Philly visiting with Dada. We read stories, tickled feet and bellies, and played trucks. My mom and dad were in the city overnight as well so we went swimming with Michael at the hotel pool Sunday morning. That little boy is getting more and more fearless. He was jumping in without holding hands and willingly slipping under the water.

Weekends are slow for Bob. Time drags as he has no therapy appointments. Visitors are welcomed to help distract him. Bob calls me often. Sometimes 6 times in a span of ten minutes.

Bob: Girlie. I can’t find my cell phone.

Karen: I have it.

B: ok (end call)

Two minutes later…

B: Someone stole my phone

K: nope, I have it.

B: ok.

At times the call is Bob telling me how amazing I am. And that he could never do this for me. And that I am better than him in every way (I NEED to record that one). And that he’s sorry for the burden that he is putting on me and our family. And how did you ever find these hospitals. And he’s sorry he’s failed us.

I try to spin the spiral back up out of the pit or distract him or change the subject. But sometimes I feed into it and lose it myself. Friday through Sunday were rough on us both. He often asks who is helping me and who of all these people is most helpful. And repeats these questions over and over. Think 50 First Dates.

After Michael and my parents left on Sunday, Bob and I had a date in a family room across from his room in the hospital. We watched the new Jumanji. A few hours later, we talked about the movie we watched and he thought we had seen 48 Hours.

Bob’s care conference was yesterday and there were good reports all around. Ranit thinks he might be able to walk 100% by the time of discharge but won’t change his goal officially until next week. He ate bacon yesterday so his diet has been advanced! “They just brought me a bag of bacon”. Everyone was thrilled with the progress he has made in the last week. Bob was up on the 6th floor today as part of therapy and I’m sure loved the weather. We’re hoping to upgrade to an orange or yellow tag tomorrow. This means more freedom.

I also went to a support group for traumatic brain injury tonight at Magee. Sobering to say the least. Some injuries were as fresh as three years and others more than 40. Few drive. Even fewer work. And all have similar feelings about their injury and how their brain works now. Please, please, please keep praying for complete and miraculous healing. I had to stop myself from crying a few times.

I’ll let you know how therapy goes tomorrow. I’m excited to see even more progress!

Smooching Dada after tickles.

Dada reading a book to Mikey

Magee models. And my crazy Dad.

Great day today. I love coming to Bob’s therapies. His PT, Ranit, even said today that he is more motivated when I am here. That doesn’t mean he’s a slug when I’m not, but he pushes himself even harder when his cheerleader is here. But when I told Bob I want to be here every day, he said “you can’t. We have a mortgage”. He is doing really well and making improvements physically and cognitively every day. And sometimes the brain slows down his physical improvements. So it will be a long process. Everyone here pushes him to get better. And he wants to come home so badly. He was teary last night and today because he “just wants to go home” and “just wants to run and play with Michael” and “just be a Dad”. He talks more about that than work, but often does ask me about the business and if I’m paying our bills. He seemed okay about me writing checks the old fashioned way when I told him today. Bob asked a ton today about our fertility doctor and if I had seen him lately (we ended that process over three years ago). He was almost fixated on it. I just kept redirecting him to the babies we do have. He did a great job writing in speech and answering questions and did an even better job in PT. I was going to post a picture of him standing because Brent said they had him up to three minutes at a time. I really didn’t believe him. But I figured this video is even better to share. WALKING!!! You can hear “get it big guy, get it”. That was another TBI patient encouraging him. This place is amazing. This was his second attempt at walking with assistance. The first time he was taking baby steps. The PTs and I reviewed the video and made adjustments and this was a clip of round two. I am so proud of everything he is doing. He told me today that he “hates car accidents” Don’t we all. But we love you, Bob. And thank you again to everyone who has helped our family in even the smallest way (and some big ways). We appreciate you so much and it allows me to be here to support him. Everyone who takes something tiny off my plate just continues to lighten them so I can keep them spinning. I tell Bob every day about who has stepped in to fill a need or void and he always tells me how nice you all are. And “wow”. Yep babe, just “wow”. Love to you all.

It’s been a busy 24 hours for Bob. He had his team care conference yesterday where they determined that his estimated length of stay is 6-8 more weeks at Magee. This is great news because he is already showing great improvements after just a week of intense therapy. What’s rough for me is that it is an “estimate”. He could show more progress more quickly and that time is shortened. The goal for him (right now) is for him to do 75% of his own care, walking, and transitioning from one place to another with 25% assistance by the time of discharge. He will also need 24/7 supervision when he leaves Magee.

One great thing is that he is cognitively gaining insight into what has happened. And because of that, his mood will decline the more enlightened he becomes. The doctors already have a plan in place to combat anxiety and depression without putting him on more meds for that. I am doing my best to reassure him and make him understand that his role as “provider” has not been usurped by me, that we absolutely want and need him home, but that at the same time we are doing alright without him and he needs time to heal. It is very hard to convey that to someone when there aren’t too many short term things that “stick”. We were talking about the accident and he seemed really with it, until he started to talk about the Corolla. He thought he had crashed the Corolla. That was the car we traded in for the Rav six years ago. Now in his defense, he did get into at least two accidents with the Corolla.

There are also three options for his care after Magee. While I struggle with what decision to make, I have to remember that so much has changed in 5 weeks and that even more can change in the next 5. So that decision is very temporarily on the back burner. And I am going to trust my gut and the professionals caring for us. Please pray that I make the right decision when the time comes.

Terry and I went up to see Bob tonight and I was very happily giving her a tour of the facility. There was a birthday party for one of the patients on the 6th floor tonight and it seemed so festive. Tomorrow we celebrate the one year anniversary of Michael’s adoption. When I tell Bob about it he says, “That’s nice. He’s such a good boy”. It’s hard for me not to be able to sit with him and recount every moment of that day. We’ll have more parties to look forward to in the future with our family intact.

I will be at Magee for at least part of the day for the next four days. It will be a whirlwind of activity but I can’t wait to see how he is doing with his therapies on Friday.

He is making more and more jokes and is smiling even more lately. I had him sign some paperwork tonight for me and after signing he said,”I didn’t even read it first. I don’t know what I signed”. I jokingly informed him that it was divorce paperwork. He said,”I’ll never divorce you. I love you.” He’s stuck with me too. For better or worse.

Shirts are in! Pretty good deal at $5 each.

I went into the city today with Mikey, Brittany, Joey, and the baby to visit Bob.  When we got there, the staff was able to set us up in a family room so that it was more like a living space than a hospital.  We played with a puzzle and with Mikey’s truck but Bob was very tired and we were only able spend about 30 minutes with him.  We spent the rest of the time on the 6th floor overlooking the city, soaking up the sun, and drawing Dada a picture for his room in their art therapy room.  Mikey was more relaxed with Bob and spent a great deal of the time with him in his lap or giving him hugs.  Bob was confused in conversation, convinced his brother, Ryan, was serving a years worth of jail time in Orlando.  He wasn’t sure what crime was committed but was sure he was behind bars.

We had a nice family lunch in Deptford and Rebecca watched Michael all afternoon/evening, while Brittany and Joey kept the baby so that I could run a few errands and get my nails done.  And then I was gifted with that pesky flat tire again.  And no amount of air could help it as there was a screw in it that was causing the slow leak and now the screw was missing.  I could drive about half a mile before it was completely deflated.  Thank you for AAA as I screamed over and over “BOY JOB”.  That’s a running joke in our house about responsibilities.  Any task that I don’t feel like doing is a “boy job” and therefore Bob’s responsibility.  But right now, everything is a “girl job”.  It’s been a long day, and I have a long week head with about three round trips to Philly, two overnights there, a number of appointments for both boys, a mini-celebration for Michael’s adoption anniversary, and a meeting to determine Bob’s estimated length of stay at Magee.  Pray for the meeting on Tuesday.  I will keep you in the loop after I get the call from the case manager with the results of the meeting. Thank you all for your love and support throughout this entire process.

First Dada kiss in over a month. Mikey was too scared to get close to Bob before today. And now he couldn’t get enough snuggles with daddy.

Family photo. Bob was too tired to keep his eyes open.

Working on a puzzle with Daddy.

Our whole crazy crew. Yep. There’s a sweet tiny baby under that blue blob. And almost a smile from Bob. Who you might notice is wearing a seatbelt.

Joe Joe and Mikey enjoying the view and the weather.

My friend, the flat tire.