Today is an anniversary, albeit an awfully tragic one. I have been dreading this month for a while now. I wasn’t even sure if Bob would see March 2019 or his 33rd birthday. March has his birthday as well as mine and so many others who mean the world to us. March is also (ironically) Brain Injury Awareness month.
For those not familiar with the story, since I have not posted a single thing about it on social media, here is a quick recap:
One year ago today at approximately 4:30 pm, on an icy road, my husband lost control of our van and crashed into a tree. He was unrestrained and was partially ejected through the passenger side window. He sustained a traumatic brain injury called a “diffuse axonal injury” (DAI). It is a shearing injury where the connections in the axons of his brain get damaged and lose all of their critical connections. He was in the ICU for 8 days, in a coma for 19, and in an acute care hospital for about a month. He spent two more months at Magee Rehabilitation Hospital, where he received top notch care and I was spoiled by their staff. He was discharged home on June 20, 2018, three months to the day from his accident. Bob attended outpatient physical, occupational, and speech therapy after discharge and completed behind the wheel training to start driving in the beginning of February.
Here is an update since November:
It’s not easy. Different things trigger his anger and it’s hard to determine what those things are and when they will rear their ugly heads. My best way to describe him is Jekyll and Hyde. He also runs out of energy fairly quickly, and also can’t predict when he will run out. Bob’s analogy is a gas tank in a car that no longer has the gas gauge. You just don’t know when it will run out, and when it does, he is done. A nap will usually recharge his batteries. Interesting that his engraving to me on my wedding band says, “Girlie, you recharge my batteries”.
The house is always a mess (which could be the 3 year old and 1 year old as well) and Bob misplaces a great deal of items which is frustrating to both of us (lost his wallet at the hospital yesterday when I was in for a quick procedure).
But Bob also surprises me a great deal. He has stopped by work and dropped off iced teas and lunches and snacks. He has also stayed to eat lunch with my coworkers and me. He has fully embraced “Schroeder Medical Transport” and has been taking J and/or Michael to many doctor’s appointments so that I can be at work. J is up to 6 therapy sessions per week and we have been swapping those responsibilities. This house spent much of January and February bogged down with sicknesses. Bob desperately wants to go back to work full time, but his medical team has advised him that full time work isn’t wise at this point. He is going back for a speech re-evaluation next week because he knows that he isn’t yet the best that he can be cognitively.
Every day is a struggle, sometimes it’s a battle. We’re trying to heal a brain, heal a family, heal a marriage. Please keep us all in your prayers. We are all trying (sometimes each other’s patience) and learning how to deal with our “new normal” and that’s an awful phrase to hear because we understood our old normal and it worked.
And that building I kept seeing progress right by the Ben Franklin bridge? We passed it on the way to Philadelphia for a seventh grade field trip last week. It’s nearing completion on the outside, but still has a ways to go on the inside. Kinda like Bob.
Michael the fixer. He loves wearing goggles and using his tools.
Madelyn Grace is here! Brittany and Joeys princess was born February 4. Michael adores Maddie!
Much love and thanks for all of your support and love.
Karen xo